A festival cameo makes you feel good about yourself. It tells you, you had 22 shows to choose from, and you made a good decision in going to this show. Without the cameo, you’re appreciative, but you have less to brag about. The cameo-less performance is like going to a restaurant with really good food, but all the food is pee’d into your mouth. Nobody wants to describe or post a picture of someone else peeing into their mouths. They will probably mention how much they liked the food, but they’re not going to volunteer a lot of detail or evidence. In fact, if you don’t ask, they’ll probably never mention it.
If jelly was performing on a stage and peanut butter showed up without intro, you’d freak the fuck out. Maybe you even prefer peanut butter. Maybe you went to see jelly solely because you heard that peanut butter might be there. And you didn’t wanna be the guy who missed peanut butter. Besides, who doesn’t like those guys together? They’re a power duo.
A cameo duo doesn’t even have to be as powerful as pb&j. It can be weaker like, pb and banana or pb and wheat bread. Wheat bread isn’t even that popular. I mean, everyone knows who he is, but nobody prefers him. And if they do, it’s because they know he’s good for them. Like the people who like soccer. Like drinking a fine wine, you do it, because it’s classy, not because it tastes good. If you want something that tastes good, you drink Nestle Quick with Bailey’s. But you don’t wanna be the guy that goes for tastes good, so you go for scotch whiskey. If scotch whiskey appears as somebody’s cameo, then you drink that shit up. And if somebody’s cameo is Slash, you better go insane. Because Slash is the soccer of music that you don’t listen to.
As long as you know the special guest, you’re excited. In a concert situation you’re easy to excite. If they say your city, you cheer. If they ask if you’re having a good time, you woo, even if you have a headache. It’s concert etiquette. You can’t be not wooing. If you are, you’re an asshole. And nobody at a concert wants to be an asshole. You wanna be cool, and you wanna be reassured that you’re cool. Like, by knowing things. Do you know Gwen Stefani? Great, because she’s here. And if you like her, then consider yourself amazing.
What if your life could have cameos? Like, you’re going to eat some Vietnamese food and your grandma just walks out of the back kitchen and sits down and starts eating food with you. And everyone around is like, “Holy shit, is that Grandma? That’s fucking Grandma!!!!!” And they all start recording you guys with their cell phones. She eats an egg roll, tells everyone how great you are, and then retreats into the kitchen amidst wild cheers. On their car rides home, everyone is like, “I can’t believe Grandma showed up.”